Animatic feedback

Class Feedback

-Unclear Pavo is getting ready for the date 
-Unclear when the water starts rising in the restaurant
-Not enough of a 3D feel/ not cinematic feeling enough/ feels very flat
Avoid symmetrical, shoot into corners, eye height, 
- Didn't get the bathroom overflowing being an allusion for anxiety
- Camera movements too choppy, needs ease in and ease out
-Bathroom perspective, meant to be wide angle lense, use rule of thirds 
-Cut to restaurant, dolly needs work, goes through a table. flat background reminds you that you're watching a cartoon. could be reversed, action reaction, show the large restaurant then his reaction.
- Betty arriving happens too quickly
-flower continuinity needs work 
-Head height while sitting needs work when betty sits down and Pavo is still standing 
-Betty's appearing shot might be hard to understand, too many messages 
-Why is the waiter angry right off the bat, should be getting angrier as Pavo takes his time to order 
-gross ups a bit too much 2D, try more profile shots for more depth 
-Pavo setting down menu/choosing is unclear
-Cut Betty making fun of the waiter maybe?
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Scene 4

-Add Pavo's disappointment to when the fish gets dropped down before the fish fingers come in 
-Betty cutting Pavo some fish needs clarity as to why she's doing it
-explore the fish being a fish head 
-If Pavo is shown after the fish it links the fish to him so we can see its him being delusional, then Bettys reaction 
-The bib being put on is too sudden, it should feel more like a choice 
-Betty could just push the fish over instead of being dropped 
-Crumb falling down, long lense tracking/tilting shot or static instead of following the crumb along 
-slow the pacing down more 
-coughing needs more clarity 
-if everyone is being gross with eating why is Pavo coughing a big deal? 
-establishing shot could be people eating and having a good time 
-birds eye what part of the fish has betty given Pavo needs to be more clear. 
-Betty's reaction to the cough is unclear, make her look more confused or concerned.
-Pavo exits the booth the wrong way, we could remove betty from the frame, move her to the right.
- cut the dolly zoom of Pavo looking up at the wave, or make the move more sudden. Motivated camera movement, have camera move for the door opening and entering with the water instead
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-Napkin isn't clear when Pavo leaves the bathroom
-The cut in back to betty needs work, too long, maybe show other customers happy together and betty and Pavo both alone 

-Cut back to Pavo looking through the porthole with his hand up after betty 
-Pavo walking out needs to be wider, showing Pavo struggling to get back to the table


Establish the water more in the bathroom scene, could have a mirror shot of Pavo adjusting his tie
water coming out  of something stationary like a cup make it clearer that it is a delusion and not a plumbing issue 

how long does it take for you to get the point. 

-I think Pavo waiting for Betty is rushed, maybe add Pavo fiddling with the cutlery back in, doesn't notice her right away 

Friday next version 

key poses 
redraw off models 
decide on line width/settings 
16x9 ratio letterbox

Meeting Feedback 

more emphasis on the handkerchief, focus on the neck swallowing and Pavo sweating 
gulp and napkin same shot 
then reach forward 
fishstick pov sweaty hand 
side view of pavo picking up fishstick 
cut back to mouth profile close up 
reframe fish entry 
side close hand tracking shot 
Tracking shot no hands, only fish and fork to allow for 3D 
before fish fingers arrive make pavo sad for a few seconds 
cut happy pavo, straight to betty pov panning at pavo/fishsticks 
sell Betty enjoying the fish 
Betty pushes over her plate tracking shot 
make sure bettys fish's head is still there 
wide shot after fish tranforms showing Bettys POV and everything is normal
push him to the left 
crumb shot turn back into normal fish 
show betty swallowing, looks more concerned, hand reaching out 
add pavo reaching for glass 
cool lightning stuff, flip image so he still leans into middle 
add seaweed, barnacles, remove waterline 
remove table once underwater 
close up of pavo after fish submerges 
mad scramble and point combined 
Pavo reacting to water, Betty not reacting, then frantic scramble 
stumbling 
wide shot for wave instead of dolly out 
maybe dolly in instead 
profile of wave then wave POV, dolly in with shadow 

 
 
export FBL for premiere 
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